第三期:好的句子 I
1.完整 完整是好句子的第一要点。一个完整的句子表达单一的完整的思想,它不包含并不紧密相关的意思,也不表达本身不完整的思想。 Faulty: Du Fu was one of the greatest poets. Revised: Du Fu was one of the greatest poets of the Tang Period. 第一句话有毛病,因为所表达的思想并不完整:时代和国家都没有提到。 加了the Tang Period句子的意思就清楚了:我们都知道唐是中国历史上的一个朝代。 2.连贯 连贯是指句子各部分之间清楚而合理的联系。句子中的词语和部分应恰当地衔接,它们之间的关系应十分清楚。不连贯的句子通常有以下几种毛病:平行结构有缺点,代词指代不清楚,修饰语和被修饰语的关系不明确,在人称、数、语态、时态或语气上有混乱之处。 Faulty: A man is judged not only by what he says but also by his deeds. Revised: A man is judged not only by what he says but also by what he does. A man is judged not only by his words but also by his deeds. 平行的意思最好用平行的结构来表达。此句中的what he says与his deeds在形式上不平行,所以应改动其中之一。 Faulty: To get ready for the trip, all the things she needed were put into a suitcase. Revised: To get ready for the trip, she put all the things she needed into a suitcase. 此句中有所谓的“悬垂”修饰语(To get…)。它与所要修饰的名词或代词没有结构上的联系。那个名词或代词有时甚至不在句中;即使在句中,也不应被现有的修饰语所修饰。因为用了“悬垂”修饰语,这种句子就缺少连贯性,也就让人难以理解了。 Faulty: The idea he mentioned at first sounded good. Revised: The idea he first mentioned sounded good. The idea he mentioned sounded good at first. 此句中的at first即可修饰mentioned,又可修饰sounded,这种摸棱两可的修饰应该避免。 这期的作业: 1.请改正以下病句: ·Faulty: We thought she was charming, intelligent, and a very capable young woman. ·Faulty: He was knocked down by a bicycle, but it was not serious. 参考答案: 1. We thought she was charming, intelligent, and very capable. We thought she was a charming, intelligent and very capable young woman. 2. He was knocked down by a bicycle, but was not badly hurt.
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